The Ultimate PLL Character Guide!

In honor of the return of Pretty Little Liars (yay!), the ever-relevant Buzzfeed was generous enough to provide us all with a character cheat sheet, which is absolutely necessary if you want to try and keep up with the ridiculous number of characters and plot twists, especially after a multiple-month hiatus. 
You can find it here. 

Now although this guide has plenty of details, my PLL-crew (yes, I have one of those, and yes, we are all adults, and yes, we have no shame) and I decided that it leaves out some of the most pertinent information. 
So.... you guessed it.... WE MADE A BETTER ONE! 

You're welcome.

THE ULTIMATE PLL CHARACTER GUIDE



Aria Montgomery

• off-center shusher
• daddy issues

Hanna Marin

• used to be hefty

Spencer Hastings

• is the best at everything
• sexing a Footface

Emily Fields

• worries about everything
• has crazy parents who lock her in the house, yet are never home

Alison DiLaurentis (dead?)

• kind of a b word

"A"

• hides in/under my car at night

Caleb Rivers

• can totes hack your cell

Paige McCullers

• lesbian swimmer
• tried to drown Emily, but is now sweet on her

Ezra Fitz

• the hottness
• is a baby daddy
• possibly likely A  (which is SUPER upsetting)

Toby Cavanaugh

• foot face
• likes to take his shirt off

Mona Vanderwaal

• part of A 
• lived in Radley nuthouse for a while with creepy babydolls

Jenna Marshall

• pretty much started this whole mess by getting blind
• used to sex on her footface brother. ew. 
• "Bitch can see!"

Lucas Gottesman

• "Hermie"

Noel Kahn

• throws parties
• dates everyone and their mother (or probably just Hanna's mother)

Jason DiLaurentis

• has a serious case of serious-face

Melissa Hastings

• prototypical biotchy big sister
• pulled a Beyonce with a fake baby pillow

Ian Thomas (dead)

• had a pervert club with his friends

Wren Kingston

• the only one in Rosewood with any medical training whatsoever

Ella Montgomery

• likes younger men who own coffee shops, although he won't own it for much longer as he gives all goods away for free

Byron Montgomery/Mr. Aria

• the worst. ugh.

Mike Montgomery

• where the hell did he go?

Ashley Marin

• slutty mom
• dating a man of God

Kate Randall

• Hanna's dad's daughter in his new family that he obviously likes better
• rides horses and acts snotty

Veronica Hastings

• Mariska Hargitay doppelganger 

Detective Darren Wilden

• man-slut of a detective
• was way better as Josh on "Popular"

Pastor Ted

• way too nice ... must be guilty

Dr. Ann Sullivan (dead)

• you'd think a PhD would have saw that coming...

Maggie

• Alex Mack

Cece Drake

• Alison look-alike

Holden Strauss

• fight club
• heart problem

Garrett Reynolds (dead)

• possibly murdered and put in a box by Adam Lambert

Maya St. Germain (dead)

• the only black person in Rosewood

Nate St. Germain / Lyndon James (dead)

• only the second black person to show up in Rosewood
• killed the first black person (see above)